Careful language is important
__________
I married my son last week.
Actually I officiated the wedding of my son and a most lovely woman. Officiating their wedding was a pinnacle moment for me.
I made a few changes to the ceremony, however. Instead of “Who gives this woman to be married to this man?” I said “Who brings this woman…” I invited them to “kiss one another” instead of “You may kiss your bride.” I removed other language that implies she is property or somehow subordinate.
It fascinates me how the language of hierarchy remains in our cultural lexicon. As I get older I notice it more, whether it is gender, skin color, sexual expression, wealth… For some reason we humans want to use others to feel better about ourselves.
There is an old joke about a group of new marines boarding a bus for boot camp. The sarge lines them up and loudly tells them that there is no black or white but all marines are green. And then he concludes, “ So all you dark green marines get in the back of the bus and you light green marines get in the front!” Some experience these subtle and not-so-subtle hierarchies more than others.
God created churches to reveal his son to the world. If you are a church person hopefully you appreciate passages like 1 Corinthians 14 when Paul describes how a visitor reacts when they attend a Corinthian church service. “Surely God is among you!” she cries. But why does she have this response?
Ancient Rome was grossly hierarchical. 90% of the population was destitute, disabled, enslaved or simply struggling to survive. But the church was an exception. Everyone was similarly gifted by an amazing Jesus-spirit. An oasis of equality in a world built on inequality. The church visitor found something extraordinary and wonderful.
Yet hierarchy is invasive. Like honeysuckle or privet. It can sneak into churches. Sometimes overtly, with religious hate, prosperity gospels or Christian nationalism. Or less overtly, like when the “successful businessmen” in a church always have the last word.
Does your church embrace hierarchy? Or conversely, do you have friends or acquaintances who are aching for the love that mutual equality provides? Are you working to dismantle hierarchy in the one place it never belongs?